When in a person's life a loss occurs and it is not overcome or closed properly it becomes a toxic duel because emotional stagnation occurs. When a loss occurs, grief inevitably appears . The duel, as the word says, is an internal battle in which one part of you accepts the loss and the other does not. Therefore, grief should not be seen as something negative in the beginning. The danger is when it becomes a toxic duel, a duel that does not allow you to regain control of your life because it stagnates in one of these parts of the process: recognition of loss , grief and return to life as always .
Another aspect that I would highlight in this emotion is the idea that pain as such is yours and only yours . And since it's yours, you should not try to let those around you understand it as you live it. The pain must be heard , but it is very difficult to be understood. Having pain is not bad. Quite the opposite. Having pain is necessary and should not be repressed because it has to leave you.
How can you overcome the toxic duel? Bernardo Stamateas insists on four very defined guidelines to overcome a duel among which I would highlight:
Learn to forgive. Forgiving, forgiving you is tremendously liberating. Only by learning to forgive will you be able to close the past and return to the present to start planning your future.